I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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