try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
