so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
