She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
