you guys were way drunker than both of me
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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