I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize