I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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