I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize