The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
