I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
