actually, I'm a sock model
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
