I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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