Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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