For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
