His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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