woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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