why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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