If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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