is your mom at the bar?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
