I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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