...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Come see our sink grown plant.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
