i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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