literally had 100 drinks last night.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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