"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
In America we eat man semen.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
