his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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