The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize