so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
