By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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