I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
