You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
