thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
