I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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