i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
