East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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