He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize