I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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