so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
