he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
