I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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