Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
