420 ftw
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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