worst night to have a conscience
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
