This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
