So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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