woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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