He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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