She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
