My balls are so social today.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she told me i tasted like america
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
