Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize