I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
