Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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