yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
