after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize