and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
