Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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