my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
handjob tips. give me some.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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