i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
