Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
