take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
