omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
