You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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