I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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