I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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